there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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