Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
