You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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