i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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