im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
