Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize