Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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