One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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