If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
