We're like a lot better than the average bears
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize