you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
