whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
