love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Me too!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
