Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
