Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
