My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
