I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
