A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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