i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
