Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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