Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
