If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
