YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
