I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
someone owes me an orgasm
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
