making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
