Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I looked at my own cervix.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The ass gains better be worth it
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