Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
