doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
