I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
