She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
