As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
