Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
