Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
