You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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