I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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