I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
