i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
