Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
