with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
