you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
