I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I can feel your judgement through the phone
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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