Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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