areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
People with herpes should wear stickers.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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