First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
