You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
