wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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