Do you still have your period?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
