Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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