This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
