thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
