he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
