i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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