she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize