I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
