Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
