Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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