I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Randomize
