your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
