If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Randomize
