maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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