Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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