No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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