When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
