Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
