My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
