i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
