physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
