So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
