i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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