belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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